Finding Yourself Again
by Airslashbloodbender99
Summary: Due to having no mother, a cold father, and a huge responsibility in his hands, Adrien Agreste/Chat Noir loses himself, trying to find true happiness and peace. Marinette notices from a far what he's becoming and Ladybug notices Chat Noir's not the same. Marinette/Ladybug both attempt to help Adrien Agrest/Chat noir to get back to being who they once were, but...will they succeed?
1. Chapter 1 - taken unawares

**Hi everyone! I hope all is well with every one of you. The idea for this story came to me literally today as I was trying to figure out what kind of story I would like to write. I hope you guys enjoy!**

* * *

It was noontime in Paris, France. The sun was still high in the sky and it was in the middle of fall during this time, so there was a slight breeze in the air. Marinette and Alya were sitting down at a table in a coffee shop just drinking lattes and chatting. Marinette blew on her latte as Alya set hers down and folded her arms onto the table. She looked at Marinette with a smug look on her face and Marinette noticed. Marinette was curious. "What?"

"You know what!" Marinette knew what she was trying to get at and Marinette sigh in frustration, but not at Alya though, but at what she is about to tell Alya.

"No. You know I didn't." Alya rolled her eyes and placed her hands to her head as if in panic.

"Why?!" Alya whined. Marinette slouched in defeat and looked down avoiding Alya's eye contact.

"You know I'm not good with this, talking to Adrien and all." Marinette blew on her latte and looked up at Alya. "I get nervous and I do that thing where I start babbling like an idiot. I'll tell him stuff like 'you're so great' and 'you're amazing'." Alya looked at her friend sympathetically. She put her hand over Marinette's and rubbed gently.

"You'll get there, but we have a lot of work to get done." Alya said as she stood up and grabbed Marinette's wrist and brought her to her feet. Marinette didn't approve at all with Alya's plan and moaned in dissatisfaction. They had grabbed their lattes and both headed towards the exit.

"Alya, not today." Marinette moaned. As they stood in front of the exit, Alya turned quickly and faced her friend.

"Look, do you want Adrien to love you?" She asked loudly. Marinette quickly shushed her in worry of anybody hearing her. "Well….do you?"

Marinette looked down at the tiled floor.

"Yes…" She mumbled discouraged. Alya brought her finger under Marinette's chin and brought her gaze up to Alya's hazel eyes.

"Then let's work on a way you can easily talk to Adrien." and just in that moment, Chloe and Sabrina walked in and looked at Marinette and Alya. Marinette felt her heart begin to race at the thought of Chloe and Sabrina hearing what Alya had just said. She thought her life was over. Chloe and Sabrina had angry looks on their faces.

"What are you two doing here?" Chloe said with her usual attitude, moving her finger side to side at Alya and Marinette. Alya smiled smugly.

"This place is free for everybody to come in and enjoy themselves, Chloe," Alya started. "That should be a problem for you though since _you're_ so bitter." Chloe and Sabrina gasped as Alya and Marinette walked past them and out the door. Chloe was boiling with rage.

"Utterly ridiculous!" Chloe screamed. Alya and Marinette couldn't help, burst out laughing at hearing Chloe freak out. They just couldn't help themselves with her response. Now that their lattes were perfectly hot enough to be able to drink, they drank up as they walked farther down the sidewalk. As they turned the corner, they saw a group of boys on the other side of them beside a wall. Some were smoking and some were drinking. What was worse was that these boys the girls recognized from school. Marinette's gaze was stuck on one of them who was in particular, drinking. Alyas nose scrunched up in disgust.

"Let's make a pact. We don't ever date a guy who does any of that," Alya held out her pinky. "Deal?"

Marinette curled her pinky to Alya's. "Deal." They both smiled at one another and Alya wrapped her arm around Marinette. As they walked past the group of boys Marinette couldn't help, but keep gazing at them. As she kept looking she paid attention to their conversation with one another. They were talking and started laughing at some joke one of them made that was vulgar.

Marinette's gaze on that boy went to another boy in the group who was smoking marijuana. Marinette looked in shock and disbelief as they turned at another corner looking back at them. Marinette could feel herself become very upset inside. If Alya noticed the same boy that Marinette noticed, she, too, would feel the same way.


	2. Chapter 2 - Worried Sick

It was the day after their little coffee shop meeting and Alya and Marinette walked into class together. They sat down in their usual seats, right behind where Nino and Adrien would sit. Marinette kept staring at the door watching everybody else walk in waiting for a particular individual to walk in. Alya caught her staring intently and nudged her. It was as if Marinette snapped out of a trance. "Your mouth is gaping open girl!" Alya said with a chuckle and grin. "I could've sworn saliva was about to ooze out." She laughed. Marinette placed her hand over her face in embarrassment and shook her head.

"What a nightmare." She whispered. Alya couldn't help, but laugh. The bell rang and the teacher closed the door and went back to her desk to sit down. When Marinette moved her hand from her face she looked to where Adrien and Nino would usually sit. Empty. The seats were completely empty. Marinette looked over to Alya who was already looking at her. Alya shrugged not knowing where they were either. Marinette felt hopeless as negative thoughts began to pour into her mind as to what would happen next. She sighed with sadness and tried her best to follow what the teacher had been trying to teach.

* * *

Adrien was in bed, still asleep. The light shined through the open windows and curtains and into the room, leaving the room somewhat dim, but well lit. Some light shined on his face when Natalie had pushed away the curtains abruptly. He scrunched his face as the light had bothered him and he pulled the covers over his face to block the light. He could hear Natalie's heels click against the floor and heard her stop somewhere by his bed. When he lifted the blanket off his face and looked at her, she smiled brightly. "Good morning Adrien." He rubbed his eyes and sat up.

"Morning." He said weakly. He looked over at his alarm clock that was on his desk. _11:30 AM_. He jolted up to his feet and his heart was beginning to race as he realized that he had over slept and missed part of school. "What happened!? Why didn't anyone wake me up!?"

"Adrien, please come down." Natalie spoke with a soft tone. She placed her hand gently on his back and rubbed up and down in a soothing manner, in an attempt to calm him down. He took a deep breath in and out and sat back down. He wasn't completely relaxed, but his panicking definitely stopped. "I noticed you came home very late yesterday. I thought it wouldn't be such a good idea for you to get up and go to school today." She explained. Adrien sighed. Who was he going to get the class work from? It would have to be Nino since they talk everyday.

"I'll have breakfast ready for you downstairs." She said and walked out of Adriens room. He ran his hand through his messy, blond hair and looked towards the window seeing the other houses and buildings. Out of nowhere, plagg flew up and met Adriens eyes. He was close to Adriens face, but far enough for him to be comfortable.

"There better be Camembert down there. I'm starving!" Plagg said and proceeded to yawn. Plagg didnt ignore the fact that Adrien was stressed. Plagg had to try his best to not get on Adrien's bad side today. "You need to relax. You're a hero."

"It's so hard to. I have so many responsibilities, like modeling, attending school and doing the work, and also being a Chat Noir." Adrien explained. He got up from his bed and walked torwards the window with plagg following him. Once he got close enough he looked at all the different buildings again and all the cars that were passing by. He took a deep breath in and out. In and out. He began to think about Ladybug and about the times that they spend together. Those moments were his highs. Those moments were a distraction from his troubles.

"I hope I get to see her today," he said quietly with a smile. "Fighting crime with my bugaboo will make me feel better." Plagg smiled and chuckled.

"Of course it will."

* * *

It was night time and Marinette was ready to under her covers and go to sleep. She felt tired from her day at school and helping her father out in the bakery. Also, worrying about Adrien. She rubbed her eyes and groaned in dissatisfaction. Tikki flew out of her small bag and up to Marinette. "What's wrong Marinette?" Tikki asked her friend. Marinette looked at Tikki and sighed.

"Today was long." She answered.

"It's always great to find something to help you unwind." Tikki helped. Marinette smiled and lifted her covers up and put her knee on her bed about the slide in, but stopped when her phone began to ring. She picked it up off her desk and answered. "Hello?"

"You're not going to bed right now, right?" Alya asked. Marinette rubbed her right eye and looked at the time on her phone. _8:46 PM. "What!?"_ she thought to herself. She hadn't even realized what time it was and now that she knows what time it is she is shocked that she is even tired at such an early time.

"How did I end up getting so tired so early?" She asked her friend. She could hear Alya chuckling on the other end.

"It's probably from all that worrying that you did today about someone in particular." Marinette sighed, but with a smile on her face. Marinette had things to be happy about. Chloe didn't bother her today as much as she usually would and there were no villains for her to fight along Chat Noir's side. Life was great….at least today it was.

"I have to admit, today was pretty great." Alya let out a laugh.

"Yeah, because Chloe wasn't as annoying as she usually is." They both laughed a little in agreement. Marinette slowly began to feel less energized. She wasn't going to worry about that, though. "Oh! I have to tell you something!"

"What?" Marinette asked. Marinette knew it had to be interesting, because Alya's voice had risen. _It was probably something interesting about Ladybug_ , Marinette thought.

"It's about Nino. Apparently he didn't come to school today, because he wasn't feeling well. It was probably something he ate he said." Marinette was happy to hear Nino was okay. She just hoped that she found out why Adrien wasn't at school today. Her heart began to beat faster. "He also said that Adrien woke up late and that's why he didn't bother going." Marinette let out a sigh of relief. She was even happier that Adrien was okay. She could feel her heart beat slower.

"Nothing could ruin this moment." Marinette said to Alya. Ayla laughed. All of a sudden Marinettes mother came up to her room and Marinette turned and looked at her. Her mother had a very serious expression on her face. Marinettes joy slowly faded and she became serious.

"Marinette, please stay in your room. Your father and I were watching the news and apparently there is a man going around and acting completely crazy." her mother explained. Her mother walked over to her and kissed her on her forehead. She smiled at her daughter. "I love you."

Marinette smiled back. "I love you, too mom." She went back down stairs leaving Marinette still on the phone with Alya.

"A villain? I have to get Ladybug and Chat Noir on video!"

"Wait! Alya Don-." And with that her best friend hung up. Marinette quickly set her phone down onto her bed and looked at Tikki. Tikki nodded already knowing what had to be done.

"Tikki! Spots on!"


	3. Chapter 3 - No Time For Explanations

**Ladybug POV**

I dashed through on top of multiple buildings as fast as I could to get to the location where the villain was. I looked to my sides in curiosity. Where is he? By this time he would usually be-

"Looking for someone?" I heard a familiar voice behind me. I stopped in my tracks and looked at Chat Noir who was now by my side. He had that same smile on his face whenever he was around me. It never gets old.

"Chat Noir! I'm so glad you're here." A smirk formed on his face. Oh gosh, he was about to say something like a pun or a joke of some sort.

"No need to feel like a damsel in distress m'lady. Your smitten kitten is here." He answered. I couldn't help, but smile. I was ready to get moving again when all of a sudden….I smelt something. I was sniffing the air that was now polluted with some smell that I recognized from the other day when I was with Alya. Marijuana? Where is it even coming from? I got out of my thoughts when Chat Noir caught my attention. "What's wrong bugaboo?" He asked in curiosity and also in concern, because he had a worried look on his face. No…..it can't be, I thought. That smell just showed out of nowhere.

I leaned in a little to sniff Chat Noir and began sniffing him out. That same exact smell was coming from the guy I thought it never would. I looked up at him with sadness in my heart. There was a fight that we needed to get to, but in that moment I was so distracted by the problem that just now came up. Great timing, right? "Chat….Noir," I tried to get out. "Your…." I knew he was trying to get out of this conversation, because now he was avoiding eye contact with me and looking to his sides.

"We need to get going! This city is in our hands, remember?" And with that he began to run off. I was frozen in my place with disbelief and sadness inside of me. Chat Noir not even Alya couldn't understand the deep pain that I felt inside of me in this moment. The guy from school that I was completely head over heels in love with was doing it…..now him? It's so hard to bear and I felt weak with discouragement and then I realized that I had to go do something. Something important. There's a villain that I need to defeat. It was bad timing that I found about this at this time. Now I had to try to get through my silent despair. For everybody's sake.

* * *

"Time to de-evilize!" I managed to get the akuma into my yo-yo and make it pure again. It flew out so gracefully. "Bye bye, little butterfly." I waved at it. Sometimes I wish I was a butterfly, so that I could fly peacefully and have no worries. "Miraculous Ladybug!"

And with that I threw the lollipop in the air and everything that was changed was restored back to normal. I turned a saw Chat Noir who had just finished speaking to the akumatized victim. The victim walked away and went in another direction. Chat Noir turned to me and began walking closer to me. He smiled, but his smile faded when he noticed that I had a frown on my face. Before he even said some pun or said something ending with calling me bugaboo, I spoke up. "Why Chat Noir?" I asked him. Their was sadness in my voice and Chat Noir was now frowning. He took a deep breath in, then out.

" it's nothing to worry about-"

"But it is! Drugs are something serious to be dealing with!" I couldn't help, but yell at him. I was not in a great mood, so that didn't help. He looked me in the eyes and had a sad expression similar to mine. I put my hand on his arm in attempt to comfort him. "Chat Noir, if something is bothering you you can just tell me." He sighed, but smiled after. He walked towards my and put his hands on both sides of my arms. He looked down at me still smiling.

"I'm okay and everything will be okay." I still had a frown on my face. Things weren't okay. Something was going on, but he didn't want to speak. What could be going on in his personal life that I am not noticing? I snapped out of my thoughts when I saw him reach out his arm with a fist. "Pound it?"

I forced a smile and reached out and bumped my fist with his. "Pound it." He continued to smile then turned and ran off, jumping from one building to the next. I put my hand to my head in concern and wondered what I was going to do in this situation.


	4. Chapter 4 - A Night Without Rest

Marinette couldn't sleep that night after she had came home and gotten into her pajamas. She was so busy think about Chat Noir and what could have drove him this far to be doing this to himself. Maybe she wasn't a good enough friend to him that she missed some details that could have easily been noticed. Maybe the trouble he has been facing at home had gotten worse. All these thoughts and even worse wons intruded into her mind.

She rubbed her tired eyes and looked at her phone for the time. _10:49 PM._ She groaned lightly trying not to be so loud that her parents downstairs hear her. She knew that tonight it'd be hard to get to sleep tonight due to her anxiety, but the least she can do is try not to allow those thoughts to intrude into her mind and do something pleasant for her mind and body. In that moment she remembered that there was still tea in the cabinets in the kitchen that could help her relax and help her body to feel tired. "Good." She sighed in contentment. She pulled the covers off of herself and got out of her bed and tiptoed carefully towards where the stairs were.

When she got downstairs she scanned the area, seeing if her parents were anywhere around. They would occasionally sit down in the living room and watch their favorite show together when Marinette had gone to sleep. What else would they do when she was asleep? They didn't say any more.

Marinette went to where the cabinets were and looked around for the chamomile tea box. She finally found it along with some other tea boxes and took one small tea bag out. She grabbed her favorite hot pink mug from the cabinet filled with glasses and mugs and pour boiling water into it. She dipped the tea bag in and out a few times before she allowed it to sit and for the tea and combine with the water. She waited until the water was warm for her to take down the tea. She didn't feel tired right away so she went into the living room and sat down on the couch they had. She sighed heavily and rubbed her temples while looking down at her feet.

She couldn't believe it. Adrien….and now Chat Noir? It was like all hell broke loose in her life. Adrien is someone Marinette is in love with, and Chat Noir is her alter egos partner-in-crime. She'd never have never thought Adrien would go down this road, not even Chat Noir. They both seemed so confident, so lively and filled with joy. Why would they need to use drugs? Why would anyone do those things?

 _Maybe if I paid more attention to Chat Noir and Adrien I could have easily noticed if they were upset or not and if anything was going on with them._

Marinette began to tear up and the tears couldn't be contained anymore. They dropped slowly down her cheeks and she began to sniffle a little. The dead silence that existed ceased to exist and her sniffles seemed to be very loud even though in reality they weren't.

Alya was sleeping so Marinette couldn't go to her best friend for comfort. Marinette's parents were asleep and she didn't want to be selfish and wake them up after a hard day of work at the family bakery. Once more the hero was alone to deal with her own battles.


End file.
